The 500 word challenge: Day 5

For those of you not familiar with this the challenge is to write at least 500 words a day for 31 days.  The purpose is to strengthen your writing skills, exercise your creative muscles, and just develop a habit of writing everyday.  The real challenge is not to edit.  Just let the words flow out.  You don’t have to make sense nor stay on point.  What I’ve discovered from this is how to let go of the fear of writing.  Especially in a public forum as this.  It is easy to write in a personal journal that nobody sees, but then nobody never learns about me.  Who I really am and think.  You ever get mad at someone because they don’t understand and how could they when I don’t tell them who I am?  Fear is a crazy thing.  It has the power to save your life or destroy it.  It can cause changes that would have never taken place any other way.  Sometimes I look forward to the fear, as in riding a rollercoaster or waste no time getting away from it, as in leaving a burning building.  Either way once you get on the other side of it and feel that sense of….Life, aliveness.  Not the feeling of survival but of true pure life flowing through by body, energizing my senses, a knowing there is, I have a purpose in this world.  Don’t know exactly what it is yet but I do know I need to be here for it.  Again, fear has a way of pushing me to be my best, to do better, to get better, to help me figure who this is I am suppose to be and remind me life is good.  Why am I so afraid of letting people know who I am?  Because for so long I allowed people to define me and I decided to live up to their standards.  No more.  I am tired of being unhappy and unfilled.  Now I am true to myself and now I am happier than I ever have been.  And in turn I am happier around others.  Why? because I feel like I am no longer hiding, that people can really see me.  Before I felt not like a person and I wasn’t really because I wasn’t being me.  What cause this change or what is causing this change?  Good question because it is not just one thing more like a combination of things.  It’s like a cook trying out different recipes to find the one that inspires her to come up with her own.  For me, it about  awakening to my spirituality.  My relationship with God.  I’ve been studying and reading about all kinds of religions and beliefs for years and now I’ve come up with a blend that works for me.  All the religions of the world  have the same premise:  Be nice to each other and yourself.  Once I learned to be nice to myself, being nice to others was easy and nothing else really matters.  One way to be nice to others is to stop telling people how to live their lives.  To paraphrase Jesus:  Love God with everything you got and love your neighbor as much as you love yourself.  On this hangs all the laws of the prophets.  Namaste ya’ll.

 

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Author: mygatheringplace2015

Blogs about my spiritual journeys and stuff.

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